


#5: A Peg to Stand On

by uragaaru



Series: You Know I Believe in Love [5]
Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Anal Sex, Dildos, Dim Sum, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Genderbending, Kaiju Dildos, Lube, M/M, Pegging, Pregnancy, Sex Toys, Strap-Ons, lesbian fairy godmother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 15:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18607633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uragaaru/pseuds/uragaaru
Summary: Ranma is 23, dating Ryouga Hibiki, and expecting. Pregnancy has locked her curse, which poses a problem as Ranma and Ryouga's love life is usually predicated on a male Ranma. Shampoo offers a novel solution to let Ranma harness her skills.





	#5: A Peg to Stand On

Ryouga felt a sense of satisfying warmth as he slowly came to consciousness. He was in his bed. He was dressed, though for some reason a thick comforter had been placed on him as well. After a second to rub his eyes, he slowly sat up on the bed.

"Good morning, sweetie," a somewhat flat voice said, followed by the sound of a page of a paperback novel turning.

"Huh?" Ryouga groaned. "Did I sleep all night?" He rubbed his eyes again and turned to look at the other occupant in his bed.

She wore fluffy looking pink pajamas that made her petite frame look just a bit younger than her twenty-three years of age. Atop was a large towel which wrapped up her long red hair. In her hands was a dogeared detective novel. She set down the book and unwrapped the towel, running a hand through her still slightly damp hair. "Nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya, Ryo. You only slept two hours."

Ryouga sighed in relief. "Jeez. Don't tease me like that, Ranma."

After wiping her wet hands on the towel, she smiled. "I was just killin' time waiting for my hair to dry out. I was on the phone with Pops, then took a shower." She began braiding her hair in her characteristic pigtail. "He was bitching about Ma wantin' him to help around the house for once."

Ryoga smiled as he listened. "God, you look beautiful..." Ryouga whispered.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Maybe you need to get more sleep. You're bein' delusional."

"Nuh-uh," Ryouga said, shaking his head. "You really are beautiful. Always have been."

"Even now, when I'm still throwin' up every morning and my pants don't fit no more and I broke the washing machine when it messed up my shirts?"

Ryouga nodded. "That was pretty attractive, even if it was expensive to fix."

Ranma shook her head. "Dumbass." She leaned down and pecked Ryouga on the cheek.

Almost immediately Ryouga turned around and put an arm around Ranma, kissing her several times on the cheek, then deeply kissing her.

Ranma sat up and took a breath. "Jeez, P-chan. What's got inta you."

Ryouga shook his head. "Nothin', just..." He paused. "I'm sorry I'm bein' dumb."

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Ya always do this. Just say what ya wanna say."

Ryouga looked away and said, "Well... I was kinda in the mood to fool around..."

Ranma nodded. "Well, I ain’t nauseous _now_ , so that's fine."

Ryouga coughed. "Yeah, but... I guess I wish we could have sex like... when you're a guy. I miss you topping me."

Ranma laughed. "Yeah, well you're the one who decided to hit a bullseye the one time I felt like playin' a pillow princess. So you got about thirty-two more weeks before I can get it up. Then probably another couple a months before either of us got enough sleep ta _think_ about fuckin'."

Ryouga nodded. "...I know. Sorry, I hope being curse locked isn’t upsetting you."

Ranma shook her head. "Me? Nah. I'm good. Feel bad I can’t give it to ya like I usually do. I'm yer boyfriend, after all."  
  
Ryouga nodded. "It's okay. I'll be happy lying here with you." He cradled Ranma more tightly.

Ranma nodded. "Aww, you're sweet. I like cuddlin' ya too..." She paused a beat. "Though, feel free ta go to the can and rub one out after I fall asleep if ya need to. Hell, I've been there,"  
  
Ryouga gulped. "T-Thanks, Ranma."

They lay there together for a bit until Ranma began to softly snore. After another fifteen minutes and a trip to the bathroom down the hall, Ryouga fell asleep again next to his boyfriend.

The next morning, Ranma sat at a large round table at a restaurant in the middle of Yokohama Chinatown. All around, small carts full of various dumplings, steamed and baked buns, chicken feet, and all manner of other dim sum were being pushed around for customers.  
  
Ranma, for her part, was sipping on some jasmine green tea when her two guests showed up. Akane, in camel brown corduroy pants and vest over a half opened white button down shirt, stumbled slowly towards Ranma, her eyes squinting against the strong sunlight coming in from the large bay windows overlooking the harbor. Shampoo, on the other hand, was clad in a white and lavender qipao and pants and seemed to float across the high pile red carpet of the restaurant in her white patent leather kitten heels. She hummed a bit as she walked up to the seated Ranma, bent down to hug her and then sat to Ranma's right after pulling out a chair for Akane, who slumped down and, with a half-wave to Ranma, grabbed a teacup and poured herself some tea.

"Hey Akane, Shampoo. Busy night?"

Akane gave a small grunt as she drank her tea, then put her head down on the table, enjoying the fresh white tablecloth against her cheek. "Didn't make it home. Took the first train here..." she mumbled before letting herself drift away.

"Qīzi too too crazy. Drank bottle of shochu by herself while I dance all night! We went to Goldfinger first, but Qīzi get so jealous at cute Peruvian girl making move on Shampoo we went dancing at mix bar. Shampoo get Qīzi on dance floor and we rocked it until dawn!"

Akane shook her head, mumbling through the tablecloth, "Oh god, I can't get that disco remix of Hibari Misora out of my head..."

"Hush, that just shochu talking. Akane no complain about 'oontz oontz' when we went to bathroom stall together and play with Shampoo's petals with—"

"Shanpu!" Akane sat straight up. "Don't—" Her face grew red. "I went too far. I'm sorry,"

"No be sorry! Qīzi not wrong with finding Shampoo attractive and act on it. Shampoo like aggressive... 'tachi', yes? Akane no think I not push away if not want you?"

Akane shook her head. "No, I just feel weird talking about it in public."

Shampoo replied, "Okay, Shampoo be more quiet. But not so public here, yes? Ranma good friend. You very close with him, even though exes? And Ranma Shampoo's Dìdì... well, Mèimei right now. He no laugh at you, Akane."

Ranma poured some more tea for Akane. "I'm actually a little jealous. It ain't like I can go drinkin' in Ni-Choume like you two, but compared ta you guys, Ryo n' I are boring homebodies."

Shampoo shook her head. "How boring? I know Mèimei and Pig Boy go at it like rabbits."

It was now Ranma's turn to blush. "Well, actually, since I got..." She gestured up and down at herself. "We've kinda... not been."

Shampoo shook her head assuredly as she opened a lotus leaf pouch of the Lo Mai Gai and grab a small bit of the rice, shrimp, mushroom, chicken, and Chinese sausage mix inside. "Oh no! That no good! You not porcelain doll just because you're pregnant!"

"That ain't it!" Ranma blushed and looked down at her teacup. She sighed before trying to pour another cup of tea and finding the pot empty. She let out a groan as she set the teapot lid askew to alert the waitstaff. "It's just that, normally I ain't a girl when we... y'know?"

"Oh, Ryouga only like boy-type? Very disappointed in pig boy," Shampoo sniffed, patting Ranma in the back. "Too bad. Shampoo always found girl-type attractive, too."

"Nah Shampoo! He likes _all_ a' me, okay?" Ranma looked over and gave Akane a reassuring smile before continuing, "It's just that... well..." She rubbed the back of her head. "Usually, I'm the one that's uh... I mean I usually ain't the one bein'..."

"Oh, you always top pig boy? I feel like Nabiki win bet somewhere..." Shampoo asked.

Ranma rubbed the back of her head. "Y-Yeah, U-usually. But now that I'm stuck like this, we can't uh, do it that way."

"You no have strap on to use?" Shampoo turned to Akane. "You never show Ranma?"

Akane threw up her hands, sending half a char siu bao flying across the large dining room. "How the heck would I have done that!? I was still hiding in the closet under my winter clothes! We never experimented like that when we were together! I could barely even say that I liked Ranma as a girl, let alone that I _only_ like girls."

"Wait, a strap on?" Ranma asked. "Ain't that only for girls who wanna do other girls?"

Akane rolled her eyes while Shampoo put a hand over her face.

"You half-girl and you top boyfriend with horse dick of yours and it never occur to you to strap on to fuck boyfriend as girl?" Shampoo asked, the quiver of incredulity audible in her voice. Ranma practically froze, her face growing flush with embarrassment as she looked around hoping no one heard Shampoo's tirade. None of the other patrons looked at the table, but there was one middle-aged woman pushing a dim sum cart who very pointedly skipped their table.

"Shampoo, shhhh! People are lookin' at us!" Ranma protested.

"Great, there go the turnip cakes," Akane mumbled as Shampoo got a few pork buns for the table from another, similarly red-faced waiter.

After he left, Ranma continued. "And anyway, we usually just took it to the shower when Ryouga wanted to do it, just to keep it clean. And, I mean, why would I? I'm a guy," Ranma protested.

Akane shook her head and replied sagely, "Ranma, you're a very sweet person, no matter which form you're in. Shampoo and I know you're gonna be a good mom and a great dad." Akane smiled encouragingly. "But even then, you're also a very very stubborn boy."

"Hey!" Ranma exclaimed.

"Qīzi correct. In this thing, Mèimei acting stupid. We correct fault of male upbringing after dim sum."

Ranma sighed, "Well, sorry." She grabbed the cup of jasmine tea in one hand and steaming pork bun in the other. She stuffed the latter in her mouth and poured the tea afterward before brusquely crossing her arms.

After a second, her face turned red and she began to yell, holding her mouth open while fanning away the steam coming out from it. "AAAH, IH HTOO HOFFF!" Ranma screamed.

After dim sum, Ranma, Shampoo, and Akane took the train north from Yokohama towards Shibuya. The Sunday afternoon was predictably busy, crammed with people meeting up by the station gate, the right-wing kooks on megaphones, and the general of flow of traffic through the area. Forcing a path through the throngs of people at the scramble crossing and into Shibuya proper, Shampoo led the group to a side alleyway, a good ways off the main drags and their restaurants, karaoke bars, and clothing boutiques.

Shampoo confidently selected a red door, unmarked save for a small, postcard-sized placard near the door where "Mystique" was written in English.  

Ranma gave Akane a concerned look as Shampoo pushed open the door, causing a bell to ring. Akane, for her part, gave her a reassuring smile.

"Welcome." A woman in her late 20s walked up to the trio. "Oh, Shan Pu, darling!" She gave Shampoo a light hug before looking at Ranma and Akane. "Oh, did you open up your relationship?"

Akane turned and glared at Shampoo. Ranma, meanwhile, took a few steps back, her brain assaulted by teenage drama and instinctive fear of an angry Akane.

"Tomoe either not very good at reading room... or perhaps too too good at getting Shampoo in trouble. Angry girl is Shampoo's Qīzi. She betrothed to me."  

"Ah, this is the famed 'violent girl', then?" Tomoe the clerk asked. "I see why you ordered the titanium riveted restraints."

"How much time do you spend here, Shampoo!?" Akane asked, her face growing flushed.

Shampoo pointed back to Ranma, who had given her friends a wide berth. "That scaredy-cat over there is Ranma. She is good friend and Shampoo's ex. She not used to places like this, but need strap on to peg boyfriend."

"Oh! How lovely," Tomoe said. "I dare say more men could use a good pegging or three. Makes them more humble in my experience."

"That what Shampoo say too, but Ranma is pure top."

Ranma slapped her forehead. "Shampoo, I know we used to be Amazon married, but can you please not talk more about our past sexual history and focus!? I'm not even in the right body for that discussion, technically."

"Yes, it a bit sad Shampoo never ravish girl-type Ranma, but Memei correct. We here for girl-type to keep skewering Pig Boy."

Ranma rolled her eyes as Tomoe led them through the shop. It was here that Ranma began to take in all of the decor. The very front of the store was racy but otherwise innocuous, with racks of various kinds of lingerie. Ranma almost paused to admire a sparkling black bustier, stockings, and garter belt but realized she was lagging behind, the others having wandered into another room. Ranma ran to catch up and, as soon as she crossed the threshold, she was stopped in her tracks.

Looking at the far wall, she was faced with a veritable galaxy of black and red leather goods. Moving from left to right Ranma took in an increasingly embarrassing selection of paraphernalia: leather bras, panties, and thongs, cuffs, restraints, and spreader bars; whips, paddles, and other implements that reminded Ranma more of sparring equipment than bedroom toys; and finally, arrayed proudly along various shelves were rows of dildos standing at attention. They were of various lengths, girths, and colors, which Ranma's mind couldn’t even begin to catalog. Then she looked up and saw, hanging on the wall like a mounted sea bass, a giant black dildo with the moniker "Kaiju" in a decorative banner placed below it.

"Holy shit, that thing is bigger than Ryouga's _leg._ You could brain a guy senseless with it!"

"Ranma, come on! We're over here," Akane called out, knocking Ranma out of her trance. She saw Akane, Shampoo, and the clerk standing near a rack of relatively innocuous harnesses and walked over

"Now then," Tomoe asked Ranma, "are you interested in an underwear style or harness style?"

Ranma quirked her lip. She put a hand to her chin and said, "Hmm.. well, maybe it'd be better if—" Ranma was interrupted as a distinct ringing echoed across the room.  

"Oh, how rude of me! I need to get that. It's only me here today. I'm already trying to deal with our 220-liter drum of lube leaking earlier." She began to walk away but turned back. "Shan Pu, I trust your expertise and your friendship can help the newbie," Tomoe said as she disappeared to answer the phone in the back office.

Shampoo grabbed a red patent leather harness. "Here. You want this style, especially since you pregnant. Maybe get underwear harness after have baby?"

"I mean, after I have the baby, I assume I'll just use the dick I was born with," Ranma quipped as she picked up the shiny leather harness. "Ya think this'll fit around the tummy, especially later on."

Shampoo laughed and replied, "It meant to fit around the hips. Besides, you not so pregnant yet, no need to... 'belly-ache'?" She giggled at her own joke.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Hey, you got no idea the crap I've been dealin' with the last month, aside from bein' locked as a girl."

Shampoo tapped a finger to her bottom lip. "Shampoo not so sure that true... At least not since period three week late."

Ranma blinked. "Wait, but you're with—" She froze and turned her head around slowly, almost all the way backwards and looked at Akane, in something that reminded Shampoo of the little girl from _The Exorcist._

As soon as Akane locked eyes with Ranma, she let out an "eep" of shock.

"What did'ya do, Akane?”

Akane paled. "Well, it was my birthday and... You know how we used to talk about um.. 'role reversal' in college? Well, I asked Shanpu if I um... could be ‘Akio’ for her and well..."

Shampoo smiled. "Qīzi was Zhàngfū for a night and now Shampoo expecting small warrior. Maybe we raise children as sisters? Or betrothe them like stupid father in law and Panda?"

Ranma and Akane both glared at Shampoo, who bent over laughing.

"You two so cute. Shampoo not lose mind yet!"

"Hhmph," Akane harrumphed and crossed her arms as Shampoo kept laughing to herself. "We already said no before-birth betrothals and no Amazon marriages or death kisses."  She grabbed Ranma's arm, saying, "Come on, Ranma. I'll show you the harnesses that look like boxers," and led her to another part of the shop away from Shampoo, who was still giggling to herself a moment longer until she found herself alone.

She ran towards them yelling."Wait for Shampoo! Shampoo sorry she tease Qīzi! Qīzi make good father for young warrior!"

Ranma slithered away from Akane's iron grip as she and Shampoo began pouting and arguing, standing in front of a mannequin wearing a full-body suit in black patent leather with zippers closing the eyes, nose and mouth.

"Jeez they're loud. I'm glad Ryouga ain't so annoyin'." She shook her head as she kept walking away.  She didn't notice the slightly darkened patch of carpet that led to an inconspicuously placed oil drum and, after taking a step, Ranma found herself propelled forward, aided by water-based, vegan, sustainable lube.

"Woah-Wo—Woah!!!" Ranma flailed her arms as she came close to careening towards a pile of high-end vibrators arranged in a pyramid. At the last second, Ranma jumped up and over the intricately arranged store display, landing with a steady thud. The only thing that was disturbed was a single display model, which fell off its display shelf onto the carpeted floor.

"Phew..." Ranma wiped her brow. "That was too damn close." She looked at the purple silicone vibrator, which forwent any semblance of anatomical accuracy in favor of smooth, minimalist lines and curves. It looked almost like a futuristic TV remote at first glance. Ranma bent over to pick it up when suddenly it seemed to come to life and scoot away from her.

 

Ranma blinked as she saw the purple vibrator scurry away, looking ahead she saw the 'personal health' device accelerate towards the wall of dildos. It hit the bottom of the shelf with a light clunk.

"Huh." Ranma said flatly walking over to pick it up. Just as she bent over and picked it up in her hands, she noticed the shelf was swaying. "Oh, you gotta be—" Ranma's muffled commentary was muted by an avalanche of latex and silicone dongs which buried the petite redhead.

Akane, Shampoo and Tomoe ran over just as Ranma burrowed her head from the pile.

"Are you okay?" Akane asked.

Ranma let out a long groan of pain. "Ow... I don't think I've had this many dicks smack me on the head since all-boys middle school..."

Suddenly, there was another snap of metal and the trio of standing women took a step back as the Kaiju monster thwapped Ranma right on her head, knocking her out a few minutes.

Ranma awoke, still on the floor, but with most of the display merchandise cleared away from her. As her eyes fluttered open, she saw Akane and Shampoo at her side.

"Mèimei finally coming to."

"Thank goodness. That would have been embarrassing to explain to Nodoka and Genma."

The two of them offered Ranma a hand up and helped her straighten her clothes and hair. Ranma spied a moving object rolling along the floor. Attached by a short string was a long puff of faux fur.

Ranma asked aloud, "Huh... that's cute. That one of 'em weasel toys for a dog?"

"That's a vibrating tail plug," Tomoe explained. "The small bit is inserted in your rectum."

"Jusenkyo not only way to get cute cat girl, it seem," Shampoo said, winking at Akane who looked angry until Shampoo leaned against her and made a light purring sound.

"Well, I think it's time we head home, Ranma. Sunday errands before work and everything," Akane said, her brow starting to glisten with sweat. She grabbed Shampoo's hand and darted away.

Ranma looked out at Tomoe. "Okay, well, I guess I'll take that red leather number Shampoo showed me. How much do I owe ya?"

"Oh, no charge," Tomoe explained as she dragged out a wet-dry shop vac. "Shan Pu asked me to put in on her tab. Something about 'helping sisters perform bedroom duty on inferior males', or something. She's quite a character... Oh! And I threw in a compatible dildo as well. Shampoo mentioned your boyfriend was a tough martial artist so I figure he'd like a challenge."

Ranma shrugged and retrieved her purchase, already in a discreet black plastic bag, and went home.

Ranma wandered back to her and Ryouga's house, exhausted. As she shut the door, she said, "I'm home... finally."

"Where were you today? I missed you," Ryouga asked, poking his head out of the kitchen.

Ranma put a hand to her chest in theatrical shock. " _You_ missed me? You missed my bitchin' about havin' ta pee every other hour or that I can't find any good chocolate at the Lawson round the corner?"

Ryouga nodded. "Yeah. I even missed you bitching that the training dummy was looking at you funny and silently judging you for getting pregnant. You got angrier than I did at you for taking the bread in middle school."

Ranma smiled. "Ya always know how ta cheer a guy up, Ryo. I guess I gotta return the favor." She set down her bag and winked at Ryouga as she walked up close and hugged him. She leaned her head against his chest and let out a soft sigh. After a second, she reached around Ryouga and gave his butt a pointed squeeze. "I was out with the gals figuring out _exactly_ how to repay ya for being nice ta me." She gave him a conspiratorial wink and nodded at the plastic bag. "You'll find out tonight, so don't tire yourself out before then, okay?"

Ryouga nodded, a bit nervous. "I'll make sure to keep up with the strongest martial artist... after me, of course."

"Dumb pig." Ranma leaned up and kissed him, then went to freshen up as Ryouga finished dinner

That evening, Ranma walked into the dim, candlelit bedroom. She wore a frilly white camisole that only slightly clashed with the patent red leather harness, worn in such a manner that her behind was pushed up and highlighted. Ranma took advantage of this by turning away from Ryouga as she entered the room. Seated on the bed was Ryouga, naked save for the sheet which covered the lower half of his body.

She tilted her head back towards the bed. "Like what ya see?"

Ryouga gulped. "Yeah. L-looks great."

Ranma placed a hand on her hip and leaned to her left, turning so as to attempt to give Ryouga a side view of her bosom through the sheer fabric of the chemise. After a second, Ranma was unbalanced and she tripped onto the floor.

"Woah! You okay?" Ryouga started to get up but saw Ranma's hand jut upwards from under the bed.

"I'm fine Ryo. Just need a second. It kinda hangs a little lower than the 'strapless model'." Ranma croaked as she slowly stood up and faced Ryouga. In between her legs, firmly attached to the O-ring of the harness roughly over where her clit was, an approximately twenty-three centimeter long, six-centimeter wide beige-pink dildo stuck out from Ranma.

"Oh my god," Ryouga said flatly, his eyes still wide in shock.

"Ya like it?" Ranma asked, swaying her hips a bit. She laughed as the tip of the dildo swayed back and forth to follow her motion.

"That's... Ranma, that's _fucking huge_." Ryouga's eyes were still wide like saucers as he moved closer to look at it and make sure it wasn't an optical illusion.

Ranma looked down, grabbing the pink, purple, and blue dildo in her hand. "Aw, come on, it ain't that big, Ryo. It ain't a bad size. It's about the same as mine"

Ryouga shook his head. "Nuh uh! You're _not_ that big normally! Trust me, I know!"

Ranma huffed, crossing her arms as she looked down at Ryouga. "I should be insulted," she said with a huff. "I could have gotten the 'Kaiju', ya know!" At Ryouga's confusion, she continued, "But I think you're just afraid of a little challenge." She threw off the sheet covering Ryouga and grabbed his hand, leading him to stand in front of her. She looked down and saw further evidence, beyond the flushed cheeks, that his own 'strapless' was into it as well.

Ranma got on tiptoes, grabbed Ryouga's shoulders and slowly pulled him down to his knees. She bent down and kissed him on the neck, up to his cheek, and then whispered in his ears, "You're right. This one's about as big as you. How 'bout it, Ryo? Can dish it out but ya can't take it?"

Ryouga groaned a little in response. Ranma patted him on the head. "Good boy. Don't worry, the lady at the sex toy shop gave us plenty of lube on the house. Trust me, it works too damn well..." Ranma noted with a bit of irritation at the end. "Now bend over and let momma get ta work."

 

END

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is either the most PG-rated sex comedy I've written or the most sexual slapstick comedy I've ever written.  
> A short piece, filed into this series for both physical comedy and comedy about being physical.
> 
> Thanks to Rose for copyediting this to acceptability.


End file.
